May 2013
lexirose-is-cool:
“HUMAN HANDS ARE SO WEAK”
“DAMMIT how you do this without telekinesis?”
“WHAT IS THIS SENSATION CALLED PAIN”
2 tags
What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
1 tag
imnotamisandristbut:
I’m not a misandrist, but guys really need to stop pretending to be into comics. Everyone knows they only read comics to see the attractive ladies.
1 tag
z1c:
being 20+ on tumblr
sendificator:
dont criticize nicki minaj i will sacrifice my body to protect nicki minaj. as abraham lincoln once said “i will attack you with the north”
1 tag
kaylathewonderful:
h4te:
i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free
a robbery. what you just described is a robbery.
depressed person: laughs at something funny
moron: what, you're laughing? i thought you were depressed you're supposed to be sad all the time and crying and suicidal you're not really depressed you faker
like my whole family are those people that complain about how this generation has no morals and things were so much better in the old days and i don’t get it? Like if anything humans have been gaining morals slowly all throughout history and right now we’ve actually had the most morals we’ve ever had, i mean i guess i’m only familiar with the western world but like there...
repeating-serenity:
my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
nannajane:
in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
I feel like this is the worst time for Yahoo to...
yourpersonalpurgatory:
most of our fandoms have self destructed and are emotionally unstable like, Hannibal is the only one left And they’re cannibals
himchanspenus:
Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
plot twist: yahoo buys tumblr and we get proper blocking features, lockable posts, a sent folder in messages/fanmail with a better interface, ability to search multiple tags, removal of the post and message limits, proper search engines for likes/archives and removing that bloody "reblog as a link" option.
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
keithjacks:
keithjacks:
Has anyone ordered a pizza from Dominos lately? The pizza tracker starts playing smooth jazz. I’m worried they are going to deliver me a sexy time instead of a pizza or both.
The pizza tracker told me to take it slow while Kelly puts my pizza in the oven. Is Kelly a boy or a girl? Does it matter at this point?
I think my sexuality is pizza now.
1 tag
1 tag
every teacher before they draw on the board: im not an artist
gothlolita:
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
I get rlly tired of this backlash against saying that villains are misunderstood like
Honestly very few people can pull off a wholly evil villain with nothing else going on.
Because people aren’t like that you know? No one just wakes up one day and says “Ah, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I think I’m gonna go kill people.” There’s ALWAYS something else...
1 tag
no but really ruby saving dean’s life and then telling him to “Stop calling me bitch” is literally the best fucking moment of the entire series
1 tag
chickensandwich:
you either do the gangnam style at my wedding or you’re not invited
buck-barnes:
i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
maxterbate:
maxterbate:
Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?
Free chocolate milk for everyone
i have just been informed on this
2 tags
thedirtyfrigeratorwithrottenfood:
YOU KNOW THAT SHIP THAT SHIP YOU SHIP REALLY HARD BUT LIKE YOU CAN’T IMAGINE THEM FUCKING YOU JUSTT WANT THEM TO BE CUTE AND FLUFFY FUCKING IS NOT ALLOWED
3 tags
bitchouttahell:
shout out to all of the custodians, cooks, garbage truck drivers, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, waiters, and every one else whose jobs and entire fucking existences get shit on by the same people who wouldn’t know what to do with their lives if they had to do anything for themselves
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you...”
– Maya Angelou (via niveo)
3 tags
marrymyface:
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
toolegitforclit:
peanutsareforpussies:
osointricate:
shorm:
birdpear:
depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesnt work and you just wanna cry
…why is this such a good metaphor what the fuck
#and then people are like #God! Why don’t you just get a peeler!? #and then they HAND YOU ANOTHER FUCKING POTATO
this makes so much sense
why is that...
vardaesque:
burritwo:
adrians:
a-creepy-weirdo-has:
adrians:
I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon
I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches.
how is that racist
they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen
of course they can’t hear their ear is swollen up like a...
my other ot3 is arya stark missy bender and ellie spicer
4 tags
mary lydia and gigi are my ot3 just so everyone knows
